Looking at film. Sometimes two very similar films come out close together, let's see which one is better...
2005: Spelunking Scares Showdown (Match 1)
Two 2005 films had cavers getting killed by things living in the caves. Because caves weren't scary enough as they were.
Round 1
TITLE
"This is not caving, this is an ego-trip." ~ Rebecca, The Descent.
The Cave - So generic it's dull.
The Descent - Nice descriptive title, but with a double meaning... a descent into madness or hell at least one character goes through.
WINNER: THE DESCENT
Round 2
PLOT
"Hey, there's something down here...." ~ Holly, The Descent.
The Cave - There's something about temple found during the Cold War and a group of unprofessional cave divers explore a cave.
The Descent - After the death of her husband and child, a woman returns to adventures holidays with her daredevil friends.
WINNER: THE DESCENT
Round 3
CHARACTERS
"I'm an English teacher, not fucking Tomb Raider." ~ Beth, The Descent.
The Cave - A generic bunch of the usual cliches..
The Descent - A group of friends.
WINNER: THE DESCENT
Round 4
ACTORS
"This is not caving, this is an ego-trip." ~ Rebecca, The Descent.
The Cave - Some (at the time) average names, including the couple from Imagine Me & You from the same year. Uneven performances.
The Descent - Minor British TV and indy film actors. Mostly solid performances.
WINNER: THE DESCENT
Round 5
THE CREATURES
"They fly! They freakin' fly!" ~ Charlie, The Cave.
The Cave - Pretty standard-looking flying creature mutated from humans by a cave virus.
The Descent - Presumably primitive humans who devolved into underground dwelling creatures. Or not.
TIE
Round 6
HORROR
"It'll be fine" ~ Juno, The Descent.
The Cave - Pretty standard jump scares, one-by-one kills and body transformations with a lot of "look at creature FX." Uses the caves as just another isolated location.
The Descent - A tense, claustrophobic film which for more than the first half of the film scares and unsettles with naturalistic caving mishaps and psychological drama, and once it sets you up hits you with the fleetingly seen creature.
WINNER: THE DESCENT
Round 7
TWIST
"At first, I thought it couldn't survive outside of a cave environment. Now, I'm not sure. I think it wants to get out." ~ Kathryn, The Cave.
The Cave - Pretty standard "the evil has escaped" ending.
The Descent - Tries a twist "all in her mind" ending which fails to track with the rest of the film and does isn't clear how much or what was actually in her mind. Hampered further by different endings in different countries.
TIE
Round 8
TESTS
"Fail. Fail. Depressively fail! One toxicology analysis revealed ketamin, that is a very powerful sedative!" ~ Dr Banks, Armageddon.
The Cave
- Bechdel Test: Two named female characters, only talk briefly and about how one me all the men. Fail.
- Mako Mori Test: No one really has an arc. Fail.
The Descent
- Bechdel Test: TLots of different named women, many conversation on multiple topics. Pass.
- Mako Mori Test: Main character is female and seems to have an arc. Pass.
WINNER: THE DESCENT
Round 9
GENRE
"The noise she's making, she'll bring every one of those things down on her head." ~ Rebecca.
"As long as it's not on mine." ~ Sam, The Descent.
"As long as it's not on mine." ~ Sam, The Descent.
Using the Slasher Rules as generic horror rules...
1. Warning:
- The Cave - Not really, Not Followed.
- The Descent - Dead animal. Partially Followed.
2. Sex & Nudity:
- The Cave - None, Not Followed.
- The Descent - None, Not Followed.
3. Death = Punishment:
- The Cave - Not really, Not Followed.
- The Descent - For a few characters, Partially Followed.
4. Never go:
- The Cave - Ummm, cave system, isolated, etc, Followed.
- The Descent - Ummm, see above, Followed.
5. Order of Death:
- The Cave - Not really, Not Followed.
- The Descent - A little for some. Partially Followed.
6. Failure of:
- The Cave - The usual, Followed.
- The Descent - See above. Followed.
7. Final Girl:
- The Cave - One final girl, a couple of male survivors. Partially Followed.
- The Descent - All female characters, final girl survivor. Followed.
8. The Killer:
- The Cave - Creatures, so follow so with look, etc. Partially Followed.
- The Descent - As above. Partially Followed.
9. Evil Never Dies:
- The Cave - The virus escapes. Followed.
- The Descent - The creatures are still in the cave. Partially Followed.
10. Sequel:
- The Cave - No sequel. Not applicable.
- The Descent - Has a sequel. Unknown.
Round 10
BOX OFFICE
"Holly: safety first! I don't want any stunts this time.." ~ Juno, Descent.
Worldwide Gross
The Cave - $33,296,457.
The Descent - $57,051,053.
Budget
The Cave - $30,000,000 (est).
The Descent - $5,480,000 (est).
WINNER: THE DESCENT
Round 11
RATINGS
"Yr." ~ Jason Thurman, Deep Impact.
IMDB
- The Cave - 5/10.
- The Descent - 7.3/10.
Rotten Tomatoes (Critics)
- The Cave - $11%.
- The Descent - 85%
Rotten Tomatoes (Audience Score)
- The Cave - $28% liked it.
- The Descent - 75% liked it.
Metacritic (Critic)
- The Cave - 30.
- The Descent - 71.
Metacritic (User)
- The Cave - 5.2.
- The Descent - 8.1.
WINNER: THE DESCENT
Round 12
SHOWDOWN REVIEWS
"Holly was right! Boreham Caverns was a tourist trap!" ~ Juno, The Descent.
- Cracked: Attack of the Clones: Suspiciously Similar Movie Showdown - The Descent.
- Trancer 21: Review: Battle of the Slaughtered Spelunkers - The Decent vs. The Cave - The Descent.
WINNER: THE DESCENT
Round 13
READER POLL
"Holly was right! Boreham Caverns was a tourist trap!" ~ Juno, The Descent.
RESULTS SO FAR
The Cave - 1 (0 wins, 2 ties)
The Descent - 11 (10 wins, 2 ties).
The Descent is the far superior film, a independent film with legitimate scares, while The Cave is so generic and pedestrian.
The Descent is the far superior film, a independent film with legitimate scares, while The Cave is so generic and pedestrian.
NO bias here....
ReplyDeleteExactly. Even with no bias "The Descent" ended up winning.
DeleteHe was being sarcastic. This whole review was absolutely biased. Lml I like the descent better myself but good god this reviewer was a fanboy/girl
ReplyDeleteThe Cave was way better. Biased ass....
ReplyDeleteThe Descent is the better of the two films, but The Cave really isn't that bad and a decent watch. This article does come off as a bit biased, sorry.
ReplyDeleteI agree, this review seems extremely biased. The details for each movie are presented very differently. The answers for the rounds seem incredibly dismissive when it comes to The Cave, while the rounds for The Descent seem like actual answers.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't even bother to watch The Cave when The Descent is such a good, haunting and unique movie regarding cave dwelling. Even this analyze backs this feeling. Biased, sure why not. Maybe not even bother with the sequel.
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ReplyDeleteI saw the Cave first, Descent second. Maybe that makes me more bias towards the Cave as they're nearly the same movie, but i think it's almost an even tie, but the Cave is a scarier ending with the mutant virus escaping into the world above... 🤷🏼
ReplyDeleteJesus fucking Christ PROOFREAD. I can't take any of this seriously with the countless spelling, grammar, and random mistype errors. Random dollar sign?
ReplyDeleteAlso the whole thing was biased. How did this end up at the top of Google lmao.